Clone Wars AGAIN?

Also known as : The George Lucas Apology

August 15th, George Lucas is going to release a Clone Wars animated film.   As opposed to the other 3 animated films he already made. And the animated series from Cartoon Network that was better than all of them.

ENOUGH already with the CLONE WARS.  You had your shot at telling us this story and it sucked.

Go write something else.

Mark my words – we are about to see an event unprecedented in movie history. A Star Wars film will open and NO ONE is going to care.

This thing apparently has something to do wit Jedis on a mission to save Jabba The Hutt’s son.  Really. Jabba’s son?  Whatever. Hack.  Maybe they can stop off on the magical planet of droids and meet R2D2s long lost cousin. . .

If you want our attention Mr. Lucas, get Carrie, Mark and Harrison together in a sound booth and make an animated film about what happens AFTER Teddy Bears save the galaxy.

I will be waiting for DVD on this one and not at all tempted to go at midnight.

I hope I’m wrong. But I’ve hoped that 3 times now.

Terminator ???

"I took out the Joker - I think I can handle a 25 year old robot . . ."

Here is a picture of Christian Bale killing a Terminator with a helicopter.

I don’t know much about this yet . . . could be LAME – but with Christian Bale as John Connor. . . too bad Heath Ledger can’t be the T-1000.

For a second there I turned into Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons. . . yeesh.

My Xbox is still busted but now it is in a plain white box on it’s way to Texas.

Did Batman punch his Mom and Sister?

Telegraph UK is reporting that Christian Bale was arrested for assault after a complaint was lodged by his Mother and Sister.  IT does not come out and SAY he hit them, but it says he was arrested after they made an assault complaint.

Maybe it was Ma Parker from the old Batman series – that MIGHT be ok . . .

Maybe he assaulted their sense of fashion? 

Wishful thinking as I prefer my superheroes to NOT beat up on women. As a rule.

Here is the link to prove I did not make this up.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/2444863/Batman-actor-Christian-Bale-arrested-over-assault-allegation.html

If I was going to make this up it would end with him smacking the bejesus out of a roasted nut salesman on the sidewalk and singing the Austrailian National Anthem while juggling batarangs behind Morgan Freeman who was playing the tuba.  HA !

Truth about the Dark Knight . . .

STOP the Hype.

I have seen the new box office champ and I offer honesty:

The Dark Knight is a very good movie.

It is not “Godfather 2 good”.

It will not cure cancer or make you more popular with the opposite sex. (Enjoying it too much may actually have the opposite effect with the latter.)

Heath Ledger did a great job and I am sorry we won’t see his Joker again.   Truly.  Every moment he was on the screen I moved to the edge of my seat. Mostly because I was waiting for him to be amazing based on all the things I’d heard beforehand.

2 Face was very well done but -I kept reading about all the surprises I was in for and to be honest . . . NOT ONE THING shocked me. Well okay ONE thing did. I am a bit shocked that Christopher Nolan didn’t ask Christian Bale to stop gargling with nails when he did his “Bat Voice”.

Less is more tough guy . . .

Even the amazing “pencil scene” I keep reading about was a non event.

I AM NOT saying I did not LIKE it. I’m just saying it wasn’t a religious experience and I was glad I resisted the urge to go without sleep and see it at midnight.  Do NOT misunderstand me – it is a GREAT  movie.  I just don’t get the chorus of angels singing it’s praises like it’s the second coming of Brando . . .

In my humble, yet well educated (regarding superhero cinema) opinion – Spiderman 2 is still the best comic book movie ever made. It’s just as long, but paced better and more emotionally connected to it’s audience.

So in short – Dark Knight is a Great Movie but sliced bread can breathe easy.

Brand New Old Star Trek

So the whole world is gushing about the Dark Knight and what do I do?

I post a pic of the new Star Trek Movie Poster.

Why?

Because this blog nonsense is all about keeping ahead of the curve. Dark Knights been out for like 48 hours now – I’m moving forward . . . and this is the new hotness.

Wait – I’m sorry who is directing this thing? The LOST guy . . . Same guy who made that Cloverfield debacle . . .  I see.

Okay nevermind.

Go back about your business. . .

Exclusive Dominos Pizza Batman Wallpaper

Pssst – Yesterday I had Pizza from Dominos (Don’t judge me.) and they gave me a code to get into their exclusive Batman Dark Knight content.

Have some wallpapers. See – I get crazy heartburn and YOU benefit.

Is there nothing I won’t do for you people?

Click to enlarge and download.

Once again my responsible life has let me down. Sigh.

I checked my email a scant 2 hours ago and found that among all the spamtacular stock tips and pharmacutical come ons, I had received an email from the Joker.

I assume it was the Joker because it appeared as follows:

http://www.whysoserious.com/kickingandscreening

 HA HA HA HA HA ha HA HA ha HA HA ha HA HA HA ha HA HA HA ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ha ha ha HA HA ha HA HA HA ha ha ha HA HA ha HA HA HA ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ha HA HA ha HA ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA ha HA HA ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA ha ha HA HA HA ha HA HA HA HA ha ha HA ha HA ha HA HA HA HA HA ha ha ha HA HA HA HA ha HA HA HA ha HA HA HA HA ha HA ha

It was very different from the emails the Riddler and Catwoman send me and the Penguin only sends me links to porn.

By the time I clicked the link . . . the free screening seats were gone.

If I had not been sleeping when it came in so that I could get up and go to work so I could pay my bills and feed my family I could have been sitting in a Warner Brothers Screening for Dark Knight on Tuesday.

I think this is like the 4th time I have said it, but I really think an award needs to be created for the people behind the viral campaign of Dark Knight.  

Sigh.

4 new Dark Knight TV spots with LOADS of NEW footage.

Wow.

Just looks more incredible with each new glimpse.

Kung Fu Panda could probably kick Wall-E’s Ass.

I was not looking forward to Kung Fu Panda.

To be honest, I’ve had about enough of Jack Black’s shtick and it just did not strike me as something that I HAD to see.  The characters were cute and all, but every picture I saw of Black and Angelina Jolie “yucking it up” at the premiere just sorta turned me off to it.

Well I was wrong.

I had the good fortune to see it in an IMAX theater today and it ROCKS. Really, really well done from start to finish. Laugh out loud funny and as succesful a Kung Fu homage as Kill Bill (albeit it in a much different way.)

It is visually stunning to look at and a whole lot of fun.

Jack Black gives Po the Dragon warrior Panda a soul from the minute you hear his voice.

Dustin Hoffman is AWESOME in this and it also has David Cross. Everything is better with David (Chicken Pot Pie) Cross.

If Dreamworks has a few more Kung Fu Panda quality movies on the way, Pixar/Disney should be nervous.

I vant the 9 milimeter Uzi and somezing vit a view of da ocean . . .

My 7 year old daughter has become one of the 5 biggest fans of the Terminator I have ever met.

She is a big fan of the Sarah Connor Chronicles TV show and the other night she noticed the original 3 films in my DVD collection.

After she begged for a few hours as only a 7 year old can,  we sat down to watch the first one.

This is not a review. This is just an observation. I never noticed this before and now that I have and REALLY thought about it – this movie is ruined for me.

I shall now ruin it for YOU.

I like to share.

The Terminator comes to our time to kill Sarah Connor.

That is all it has to do. It does not need to eat. It does not need to sleep. It does not need to rest. All it needs to do is find Sarah Connor – and kill her. So why then, does the Terminator – get a motel room.

I have seen this movie 15 times and never questioned it. I am questioning it now. Why would the Terminator get a motel room. It is implied that he ’snuck” into the room as we see him climb in the window, but then later a maintenance man asks if he has a dead cat in the room. So they know SOMEBODY is there.

So WHY IS HE THERE?

You would think that the Terminator would spend EVERY waking moment hunting for Sarah Connor – what with him being a TERMINATOR and all.

The whole Kyle Reese is John Connor’s father thing used to make my head hurt, but now – I’m just annoyed.

I wonder if he posted a review on Hotels.com

Stupid Terminator movie.