Dead Blogs tell no tales . . .

Arghh, welcome aboard the Pirate Thursday blog entries me readers.

’tis a fine day sailin’ the internets today and as me luck would have it I’m a big winner in some sorta Canadian lottery !

I’m postin’ evidence of me good fortune below and just so ya won’t think I’ve been dragged inta the black sea vortex by some nasty sea creature, should ya not see me around these parts for a while , assume I’m out spendin’ me new found fortune.  Arghh.

I will state fer yer record that Canada needs to hire a better copy writer for their lottery program . . .

From: Ms.Patricia Atkins
Canada Lottery-Soccer World Cup 2010 Promotional Draw
1550 Princess Street
Kingston, ON, Canada, K7M 9E3
 
 
Congratulations, you have won Canada Lottery!

Attention: Customer AFRSA680
Ref: EAAL/851OYHI/05
Batch No. Ontario 49
                      
 
                                     WINNING NOTIFICATION

The Canadian Government sponsors this lottery for the promotion of the 2010 Soccer World cup to be hosted in South Africa. We happily announce to you the draw of the Euro-Afro-American Sweepstake Lottery International Programs held on Sat 26th  January,  2008  in Essex United Kingdom and Ontario Canada. Your e-mail address attached to Ticket Number: B9564 75604545 100, with Serial Number 46563760 drew the winning numbers 0f   Sat 26th  January,  2008   are; 2/9/10/25/33/43  and Bonus # 27  for ONTARIO  49  lotto under the choice of the lottery in the 1st category of daily three. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of US$840,000.00 (Eight  Hundred  and Forty Thousand United States Dollars) in cash credited to file EAAL/9080118308/05.
 
This is from a total cash prize of US $6,300,000.00 shared amongst the first (75) lucky winners in this category Worldwide.  Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our Euro/Afro booklet representative office in Africa as indicated in your play coupon, because this particular draw was selected to promote the 2010 World Cup to be hosted in South Africa hence your winning information must be kept secret to enable you participate in our subsequent draws which will see 500 participants traveling on an all expense paid trip to South Africa for the Soccer World Cup 2010. In view of this, your US$840,000.00 (Eight  Hundred and Forty Thousand United States Dollars) would be released to you by an accredited commercial Bank in South Africa. Our African claim agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you obtain your winning certificates.
 
All participants of this lottery were selected randomly from World Wide Web site through computer draws system and extracted from over 10,000,00 companies and personal e-mails. For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning information confidential till your claims are processed and your money  remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to claim your prize.This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by unscrupulous elements. Please be warned!
 
To file for your claim, please call/contact the claim agent at the below address:
 
Name of claim agency firm:Custody Client Services.
Contact Person:Dr.Dennis Young
Email:custodyclientservices@galmail.co.za
Phone:+2779 473 3632
Address:60 Ormonde Road,Clipriver.
Bleomfontein 3170
South Africa
 
Congratulations! Once more from all members and staff of this program that has ensured that you won this competition.
 
 Thank you for being part of our Promotional Lottery program.
Yours Sincerely,
Ms.Patricia Atkins.
 
Note:To confirm your winning number:
Visit:http://www.canada.com/findit/lotteries/results.aspx?id=8 

Fine. Whatever. I see your point.

So against my better judgment I invited my wife to read my blog.

Her comments:

Why are you making fun of Britney Spears? That poor woman can’t catch a break. Why are YOU making fun of her?

Why would you assume Alec Baldwin is a bad father? You weren’t there. You don’t know both sides of the story.

Why are some of your posts so LONG. That’s too much reading. Boring.

Sigh.

Sadly, I am inclined to agree I guess. Now I feel all “dirty” about the stupid Britney Spears joke that wasn’t even that funny (or effective – almost no increased traffic from that stunt.)

As for Alec Baldwin, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know. So Mr. Baldwin I apologize and hope you work it all out with the kid if you haven’t already. By the way Glen Garry Glen Ross was amazing.

Ok there is no way she’s still reading at this point as there are like 166 words above this line. . .

That being said – JJ Abrahms is still a hack, the ROCK is still too thin, an Indiana Jones Mr. Potato Head is still stupid and the movie Shoot ‘em Up is definately still a giant crap fest!
HA!

(I can’t write anymore right now as my wife has requested that I find out if the guy who plays Chris Keller on One Tree Hill is an actual singer or just a lip syncing actor. Sigh.)

By the way – I did a Google image search on the word “wife” hoping to find a funny graphic to accompany this post . . . you internet people are sick.

Plan B

Okay, so my plan to increase blog trafic by posting fake tags to make it seem like I had content about Britney Spears has resulted in . . . no increased traffic to speak of.

Sad.

I am afraid now, I shall have to do the only thing that makes any sense and institute “Pirate Thursdays”.

Yes Pirate Thursdays on the blog will be written from the point of few of a crusty, mangy, captain of the high seas.

Sure it sounds stupid now, but TRUST ME – Internet Blog readers will LOVE this.

Arghhh.