Dead Blogs tell no tales . . .

Arghh, welcome aboard the Pirate Thursday blog entries me readers.

’tis a fine day sailin’ the internets today and as me luck would have it I’m a big winner in some sorta Canadian lottery !

I’m postin’ evidence of me good fortune below and just so ya won’t think I’ve been dragged inta the black sea vortex by some nasty sea creature, should ya not see me around these parts for a while , assume I’m out spendin’ me new found fortune.  Arghh.

I will state fer yer record that Canada needs to hire a better copy writer for their lottery program . . .

From: Ms.Patricia Atkins
Canada Lottery-Soccer World Cup 2010 Promotional Draw
1550 Princess Street
Kingston, ON, Canada, K7M 9E3
 
 
Congratulations, you have won Canada Lottery!

Attention: Customer AFRSA680
Ref: EAAL/851OYHI/05
Batch No. Ontario 49
                      
 
                                     WINNING NOTIFICATION

The Canadian Government sponsors this lottery for the promotion of the 2010 Soccer World cup to be hosted in South Africa. We happily announce to you the draw of the Euro-Afro-American Sweepstake Lottery International Programs held on Sat 26th  January,  2008  in Essex United Kingdom and Ontario Canada. Your e-mail address attached to Ticket Number: B9564 75604545 100, with Serial Number 46563760 drew the winning numbers 0f   Sat 26th  January,  2008   are; 2/9/10/25/33/43  and Bonus # 27  for ONTARIO  49  lotto under the choice of the lottery in the 1st category of daily three. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of US$840,000.00 (Eight  Hundred  and Forty Thousand United States Dollars) in cash credited to file EAAL/9080118308/05.
 
This is from a total cash prize of US $6,300,000.00 shared amongst the first (75) lucky winners in this category Worldwide.  Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our Euro/Afro booklet representative office in Africa as indicated in your play coupon, because this particular draw was selected to promote the 2010 World Cup to be hosted in South Africa hence your winning information must be kept secret to enable you participate in our subsequent draws which will see 500 participants traveling on an all expense paid trip to South Africa for the Soccer World Cup 2010. In view of this, your US$840,000.00 (Eight  Hundred and Forty Thousand United States Dollars) would be released to you by an accredited commercial Bank in South Africa. Our African claim agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you obtain your winning certificates.
 
All participants of this lottery were selected randomly from World Wide Web site through computer draws system and extracted from over 10,000,00 companies and personal e-mails. For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning information confidential till your claims are processed and your money  remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to claim your prize.This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by unscrupulous elements. Please be warned!
 
To file for your claim, please call/contact the claim agent at the below address:
 
Name of claim agency firm:Custody Client Services.
Contact Person:Dr.Dennis Young
Email:custodyclientservices@galmail.co.za
Phone:+2779 473 3632
Address:60 Ormonde Road,Clipriver.
Bleomfontein 3170
South Africa
 
Congratulations! Once more from all members and staff of this program that has ensured that you won this competition.
 
 Thank you for being part of our Promotional Lottery program.
Yours Sincerely,
Ms.Patricia Atkins.
 
Note:To confirm your winning number:
Visit:http://www.canada.com/findit/lotteries/results.aspx?id=8 

Fine. Whatever. I see your point.

So against my better judgment I invited my wife to read my blog.

Her comments:

Why are you making fun of Britney Spears? That poor woman can’t catch a break. Why are YOU making fun of her?

Why would you assume Alec Baldwin is a bad father? You weren’t there. You don’t know both sides of the story.

Why are some of your posts so LONG. That’s too much reading. Boring.

Sigh.

Sadly, I am inclined to agree I guess. Now I feel all “dirty” about the stupid Britney Spears joke that wasn’t even that funny (or effective – almost no increased traffic from that stunt.)

As for Alec Baldwin, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know. So Mr. Baldwin I apologize and hope you work it all out with the kid if you haven’t already. By the way Glen Garry Glen Ross was amazing.

Ok there is no way she’s still reading at this point as there are like 166 words above this line. . .

That being said – JJ Abrahms is still a hack, the ROCK is still too thin, an Indiana Jones Mr. Potato Head is still stupid and the movie Shoot ‘em Up is definately still a giant crap fest!
HA!

(I can’t write anymore right now as my wife has requested that I find out if the guy who plays Chris Keller on One Tree Hill is an actual singer or just a lip syncing actor. Sigh.)

By the way – I did a Google image search on the word “wife” hoping to find a funny graphic to accompany this post . . . you internet people are sick.

Plan B

Okay, so my plan to increase blog trafic by posting fake tags to make it seem like I had content about Britney Spears has resulted in . . . no increased traffic to speak of.

Sad.

I am afraid now, I shall have to do the only thing that makes any sense and institute “Pirate Thursdays”.

Yes Pirate Thursdays on the blog will be written from the point of few of a crusty, mangy, captain of the high seas.

Sure it sounds stupid now, but TRUST ME – Internet Blog readers will LOVE this.

Arghhh.

Too bad his name isn’t Idaho Jones

First Toy announced for Indiana Jones and the Golden wheelchair . . . (or whatever they’re calling it)

Mr. Potato Head has now been Darth Vader, a Stormtrooper, R2D2, C3P0, Spiderman and stripped of all dignity.

Furthermore – Potatos are not from Indiana and carb avoiders not withstanding it is very rare to find someone with an actual  ”jones” for them!

Is there no actual “Indiana” themed sort of thing that could be a better match?

Hoosiers, Indianapolis 500, David Letterman, hmm.

I guess not.

Oh well.  Nevermind.

Best Day Ever . . .

28 views.

For those of you playing the home game, I wanted to share that stat with you.
So far the most views this blog of mine has had in one day was 28.

So it would seem that short sarcastic DVD reviews and sub standard video game commentary don’t draw in the masses…

That’s okay.

I have a plan to shatter that number and it goes a little something like this . . .

(ahem)

Britney Spears

There. That oughta get ‘em clicking.

I’ll let you know …

First rule of PS3 Club . . .

Hey I just played the single player demo of The Club on PS3 and it reminded me of Gears of War.

This is a very good thing. I still think the PS3 controller is too light and empty feeling but for the first time in a PS3 game I felt like I could spend a serious amount of time in one sitting on a game besides the crack addiction that is PAIN.

Don’t misunderstand me – I need more time with it and this is just a first impression, but it was a pretty good one . . .

If anyone knows about a good 3rd party PS3 controller that feels like an Xbox 360 one – PLEASE ADVISE !

3:10 to Yuma is so good, I have nothing funny to say about it.

YES !
YES !
YES!

THIS is a damn MOVIE !

I am not a huge western fan, but when a good one comes around it can just rope you right in. (Yes I am aware of the pun. It was not intended, but dammit – this movie is so good I don’t even care !

Start to finish – a fine piece of work, worthy of your hard earned rental fee or high spot in your Netflix queue.

I loved this movie. I really wished I had seen it with my father – a huge fan of Westerns. (He’s actually average sized but he really enjoys Westerns) So Dad – if you’re reading this STOP READING this and go rent 3:10 to Yuma!

Believe it or not a lot of money seems to have been spent here . . .

I was raised with the adage, that if you don’t have anything NICE to say about someone, say nothing at all.

.
.
.
.
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Sahara was not dry at all . . .

See what I did with the headline there? Sahara, desert, dry . . . HAHAHAHAHA. I am very clever sometimes. “ahem”

I expected NOTHING from this movie and I was very surprised at how good it was. The whole thing had that Raider’s of the Lost Ark vibe, but not in a “This is a rip off of Raider’s of the Lost Ark” kind of way.

Clever story, genuinely likeable leads and pretty funny as well. Good flick !

Why not just use a picture of Amanda?

Sydney White is not a film that’s hurting anybody. It’s a cute retelling of Snow White and the seven dwarfs in modern times on a College campus where instead of being “dwarfs” – the 7 in question are “dorks”. Get it? Sydney White and the 7 Dorks?

Ahh, good times.

Bottom line – Amanda Bynes has been a star since she was 7 and I’ll be honest I’d watch her in anything. She is a natural talent and the camera loves her. So yeah – this is cute although I’m not sure who the real target for it is. It’s too raunchy for the disney set and I don’t see teenagers running out to rent modern day fairy tales, but I digress. If the target was 38 years old males – they hit it. Good for ‘em.

One giant irritation though. As I stated above, Amanda Bynes has been acting since she was a small child. There must be a thousand pictures of her from every age. There are two scenes in this movie where she looks at a picture of her deceased mother and herself and misses her. The director chooses to use a picture of a kid who is not Amanda Bynes. Clearly NOT Amanda Bynes.

The effect is that the viewer spends a minute saying, “Who is that a picture of and why is she staring at it?” No big deal if the actress was almost anybody else. But we all know exactly what she looked like at 7 . . . we were watching her on TV.

Why not just use a picture of Amanda and preserve the “illusion” of the film?

I demand that the director of this film, explain his decision right here in this forum. I will be waiting.